The other evening, I watched a disturbing program about addiction. These were alcohol and drug addictions. But as I watched and listened to what the people were saying, I was struck by the similarity between any addiction...alcohol, sex, drugs, pornography...and yes, food. An addiction is something which has taken over one's life and emotions. Plain and simple.
I celebrated Easter yeterday and allowed myself to enjoy sweets and one glass of wine and I did not exercise. I have to admit, by mid afternoon I was feeling slightly nervous...nothing serious, just a little warning voice in the back of my head...a quiet warning. I admitted to a friend that I felt I was at risk of losing control. I feel better today because I went right back to no sugar and no alcohol. I skipped a meeting after work so that I could go home and get in an hour walk. My health comes first. To heck with some of these meetings. My quality of life is more important.
I know that I am always at risk of "losing it". I can fall off the wagon at any time. The chemical addiction to chocolate and chips is not as strong as alcohol or stronger substances...this I know. However, I know myself well enough to understand that I cannot ever be arrogant about food. I can never afford to sit back and assume that I will never binge again, nor can I let go (for now) my exercise structure, my food journal and calorie counting. Pride goeth before a fall...such is life.
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