There are some foods that no longer need to be part of my life...ever again. I shudder inwardly when I declare absolutes with food because I always want to have some sort of a backup. That last sentence makes me realize how emotionally dependent I still am on food...always gotta have a back up plan...always some treat stashed away somewhere in case...in case of what? In case of famine? In case of a seige by foreign troops around my city? In case of a new version of the Irish potato famine? What is my fear and how in the world did I develop such a mis-balanced view toward food? Have I ever been close to starvation? Has there ever been a time when it was impossible to find some sort of food somewhere to stuff in my mouth? Is this some sort of weird cell memory bleeding over from the experiences of my immigrant relatives? I have lived a life of affluence...not because of anything I have done to deserve it...but there has always been enough food.
I need a whole new mind set. I am still working on figuring this all out...but I stood in my kitchen last night and snacked on potato chips and thought..."this, I can let go"...potato chips and french fries are foods which make me feel gross...greasy, messy...they make me nervous about my skin...cause me anxiety because I know I have no idea how many calories I am eating...and, (here is the really good news), once I stop eating them...I no longer crave them. So...one day at a time, one pound at a time, one food at a time...goodbye to chips and fries...nice knowing you...
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