Day 8 March Endurance

I feel draggy today. It is the month of March. Spring teases us but will not commit. The sunshine keeps shining but my bones are still chilled. The snow is melted off the sidewalks but there are still huge mounds of marshmallow fluff everywhere. Marshmallow fluff with bits and pieces of sticks and twigs mixed in...along with a muddy syrup. My lunches which I bring regularly to work, no longer appeal to me.

In the past, at this time of the year... I looked forward to a Saint Patrick's Day pistachio cake...with layers of cream frosting and coconut. Now the reader must know that this is a killer cake. I want to eat half of one of those cakes right now, and wash it down with a pot of strong coffee. Something stops me. I do not want to surrender the feeling of calm I feel right now. Even though I am stuck in the middle of that weird food tension...caught between wanting green pistachio cream frosting by the gallon and wanting my scale to dip next Monday when I weigh in...I make an active choice to stay in control.

How do I resolve this tension? I must endure to the end of the work day. Then I must endure a two hour meeting across town. I must endure the ride home. I must endure some time on the treadmill. I must have some coffee along the way.

March is the month of dragsville. The month of mud. The month of delayed pleasures on the way to Easter. The month of hope and hopelessness. The month of trees which will not bud...snow which will not go away...classes which will not end...people who are still there...talking AT me instead of WITH me, bothering me, bringing in chocolate bars to munch nearby as I work diligently on my lean cuisine.

I do not need to spend my days wishing I were somewhere else, eating something different, talking to someone I like, sleeping when I'm awake, sitting when I should be walking...etc. I do not want to live that way. So I am practicing a mindset of endurance. Something which is endurable is something which is capable of being endured...it is bearable. My life is a very easy one. This food business in the middle of the month of March is no big deal. Apparently, endurance means growing up. Maybe I shall do that...maybe in April?