Day 12 The Scale And Me

I made a decision, sometime in the rainy early hours this morning. I have been fasting from sugar, chips and alcohol during the Lenten season. However, I awake almost daily thinking about the scale. I decided I need to give it up for the next 19 days...until April 1. Anything which becomes a power over me, and by that I mean something requiring a disproportionate amount of mental time and energy, is something from which I need to fast. Fasting helps me to regain the upper hand over inanimate objects which rule my mind.

I have lost 24 pounds and I discovered that success has increased my desire to check out the numbers on the scale continually. The scale becomes the measure of my happiness and contentment. When the numbers go down, my day is filled with hope and joy. If the numbers rise for any reason (real weight gain, muscle weight, heavier food or water retention) then my day drags. I find it hard to go to work with a cheerful mindset. I feel less patient with friends and family. I have difficulty concentrating on the truth. The truth is that when I eat right and exercise, the healing happens...regardless of what the scale says. It just takes time.

Come to think of it...who really cares what the scale says? Ultimately, it does of course give an indication of overall health...but a .5 lb here and a .5 lb there becomes silly...and tyrannical. I am also learning to reject any worry about a doctor's opinion. I am not friends with my doctor. I have nothing to prove to my doctor. My weight is about me, myself and I.

So for the next 19 days...I am off the scale. There shall be moments when I hate this decision. However, it will do two things. It will force me to eat carefully, slowly and deliberately because I can't use the scale as my check. It will also force me to be patient...which is a core issue with food and overeating.